Wine Friends, Wine Frenemies.

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 “The things you are passionate about are not random, they are your calling.”  

~ Fabienne Fredrickson, Founder of Boldheart

Fact:  Multiple people can feel passion for the same things.

Fact: The wine world has been very warm, and welcoming to me.

Fact:  Throwing shade at someone will always keep you from shining your own light.

In November of 2017, in my full time business life from my role as a relationship manager, I had the fortune of speaking on a panel at an industry conference to a room full of clients and peers on the topic of “Better Business Through Networking”. This opportunity was an honor for me – one that I am humbled by – because I am in an industry full of talented, intelligent, great people.  It is natural, when surrounded by such talent to feel inspired and be led to your own energy or introduced to fresh motivations through these interactions.  During special moments like these, it is your opportunity to curate your OWN voice, explore your OWN ideas, flesh out your OWN unique offering to the community you are in.

That said, I don’t strive to “keep” or “make” enemies.  Grace abounds in my life and is life giving when I give it to others. But the saying exists for a reason, “keep your friends close and your frenemies closer.”  Someone in my profession who I consider a close friend, revealed themselves to be a friend whom I should create distance from, for self-preservation and to reduce risk of harm.  Learning of this incident, and then of a second incident shortly thereafter has reinforced my decision that personal space is necessary. It has also left me managing emotions of sadness that things needed to change between us, frustration, disappointment and vulnerability.

Be it with yourself or in relationships with others, honesty has a power to it that few can handle. But, it is liberating when lived as a core value and serves as the guiding beacon of your sight. I hated to admit to myself that I was wrong about someone’s character, but doing so has allowed me to make the adjustments needed to move through and move forward.

What lingers and bothers me most about the igniting of passion is when your light is showing, it is warm and magnetic.  That warm magnetism attracts many experience-goers seeking to draw from it.  The beauty and symposium of this can then become a full event when passions are ignited and edification flows.

And yet friends, understand this: drawing from your light and taking from you and stealing it from your very hands are two extremely different things.  Who is in your circle, warming their hands with your fire?  Who has entered the doors of your home and come to take, rather than give?  When you stop and examine, it becomes evident which relationships are healthy and which should be minimized.

It’s taken me several weeks to process this event, detach from expectation, and realign my subconscious order of how to approach my wine path.  I confess a moment of wanting to give up on this endeavor because the incidents involving the person who this is about – took that much from me.  Bouncing back from dishonesty always requires lots of personal effort when I am met with such boldness, but in this case to thine own self I remain true.  This endeavor, is still mine.

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.” ~ Oscar Wilde

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